New From Google or "Is This Anything?"

Last.fm just served me the Matt Pond, PA cover of Champagne Supernova. Last.fm knows me. I like that Last.fm knows me.  I like when my web-based applications know me and recommend great stuff for me. However, for some reason, people freak out when it comes to Google knowing about them. I think it has something to do with Skynet. I don't know, ask this guy. 

Google knows that we don't like it that they know so much about us - because they're inside our heads. So, in the name of transparency and to give individual users more control over their privacy settings, Google launched it's Google Dashboard. 

I opened up my own Google Dashboard expecting to find that the Mothership has stored my social security number, my credit rating, dress size, innermost fears and late-night snacking habits. In reality, I found a bunch of boring stuff like my number of RSS feed subscriptions, number of conversations in my Gmail Inbox, number of widgets I installed on iGoogle, and my age, gender and zip code. I'm pretty sure the staff of the Ketchum Mail Room knows more about me than Google does.  The only thing that looks potentially interesting is my web search history, which also happens to be particularly boring at this moment.  So, Google Dashboard - is this anything? Personally, I'm more excited about the new Google Music Search Feature.

This would have come in handy yesterday when a colleague and I were trying to remember who sings "Right Here, Right Now" (Ans: Jesus Jones).  Of course, when I just ran a search for "Right Here, Right Now" in Google it pulled up the Fatboy Slim version. Nice start Google, if your aim is to collect enough embarrassing data to blackmail me into joining the robot uprising in 2040 you're going to have to try harder.

The Elevators Have Ears

If you don't live in an urban area, you may not be familiar with the phenomenon that is the Captivate Network. Captivate runs editorial and advertising content  on a small television-like screen in elevators in office buildings in 19 U.S. markets and 5 Canadian cities. I always thought the name "Captivate" was pretty genius - what else are you going to do in an elevator (don't answer that.)  When I first moved to New York and encountered this phenomenon I thought it was ridiculous, but as a person who hates small talk, I know appreciate that the screen gives me an excuse to not to interact with my fellow man. Thanks, Technology!

My misanthropy aside, I was mostly kidding when I tweeted "The Captivate screen is out in the elevator. Forced to confront my own thoughts for 33 seconds. FIX. NEED CONTENT."

I almost spit out my Vitamin Water when, minutes later, I received the following public message:

Oh. Hello there, people inside the tiny elevator screen. I responded,  "@Captivate Whoa. Okay. Check out 1285 Avenue of the Americas NY, NY. It's one of the elevators in the Floor 3-7 bay."

Gotta hang out by the elevators now and see if the screen got fixed. In the mean time, I checked out the Captivate Twitter feed and ... there's only one message. Addressed to me.  Whoa. I feel like the subject of some weird, corporate social media experiment. Well, glad to do my part, boys.